Why? Again

Sometimes, I wonder what we are doing. What the heck were we thinking when we first decide to feed the first stray cat??? And how did it become more and more cats, with the food turning into more and more expensive cat food?

I remember the first cat I'd fed. I was living at another HDB housing estate, and there had always been stray cats at the void deck. At first, there was an uncle who fed them every night and he would sterilise selectively, but he had to move away. Then I met the Malay auntie who only feeds (rice + fish + Friskies) but would never sterilise. Luckily, someone did bother to sterilise. There was even a sponsor who lived elsewhere, but offered to pay the cost of sterilising the cats without even appearing. She had helpers/volunteers who helped to trap the cats for sterilisation.

Anyway, about the first cat I fed - it was a dark grey tabby kitten of about 7 months, very skinny, scrawny and always looking hungry. I didn't pay much attention to him the first time, but the 2nd time I saw him, I just could not walk away. I probably wasn't working then and was nuah-ing at home, hence I could see that the kitty hung out all afternoon without sleeping...probably too hungry to sleep. He looked really famished, so I went to the kopitiam, bought a piece of fried fish which the kitty gobbled up in a flash.

After that, like most ignorant folks who didn't know any better, I started buying the supermarket variety of cat food to feed the cats that I bump into. Perhaps it was SO's influence (then my boyfriend), that I starting coming into contact with more stray cats. Later, I started taking cute kitten upstairs to feed, clean up and play. There was Lucy, another grey tabby kitten (most likely abandoned), and there was Xiao Hei (abandoned by his own cat mother, I was told!), whom on the very first visit to my home, was smart enough to LS on a piece of floor rag instead of dirtying other inappropriate places (I didn't have a litter bin then).

Fast forward to many years later, somehow, we've become folks who would touch and sayang every stray community cat that crossed our path, in all and every housing estate. It didn't matter that we were strangers. As long as the cats are friendly and game for a pat, we gave them a pat or two, after which we would leave a few kibbles for them to munch (so that they won't follow us). Somehow along the way, the supermarket variety of cat food became objectionable, and supposedly better quality and much more expensive cat food took its place. Meanwhile, we have to face the nasty looks from non-cat people and their sometimes rude, offensive questions and comments. Most of the time, we had put up with such nonsense and just grin and bear it. Then came the cat-fostering and rehoming thingy, the mess and chaos at home, the forever-there cat hair, the cajoling, disciplining and mothering of foster cats.

Sometimes, I wonder what are we doing? What have we gotten ourselves into? Are we just a bunch of cat-crazy, illogical, cultish folks who don't know any better then wasting our time and money on "useless" animals? Why do we let our liking and even love for cats overtake our lives (sometimes) and inconvenience us like this, when we already lead busy, stressful lives just eeking out a living in this cold, urban, concrete jungle?

What is our connection to them, and what does it all mean?